There has been a tension building in me lately between body and mind, brought on assuredly, by my lack of yoga. I wonder: have others noticed I’m not around the studio as much? Will Laurie and Lisa think I take my Karma Club Membership for granted? Do people think I’m losing interest in yoga? What makes me believe I could ever dedicate enough time to yoga to become a teacher?
My body is not concerned with these thoughts at. It sees the yoga mat bag in my car, which has somehow found its way to the trunk of late where I see it less often, and looks at it like a dog forlornly staring at her leash on a hook, waiting to be taken for a walk. I tell my body to settle down in the desk chair and it sighs in response, while my mind says, “Not today. Not enough time. Maybe tomorrow.”
I know I’ve been putting other things before my body’s health: socializing, class, on-campus extra-curriculars. I’ve been replacing the blissed-out yoga buzz with frequent dosages of caffeine…I tell myself that it’s okay because it’s just chai, not soda or coffee. All of the roles I play at school are nice, I get to feel important, but my body is left feeling unfulfilled, anxious and in knots.
I miss those moments where I find space in a joint that’s never been there before or find for the first time that arm balances are within my reach. Every class I come to—no matter how much time has lapsed since the previous one—I know I’ll experience one of those discovery moments. I miss waking up and discovering which muscles are sore, the promise of growth. I miss seeing all of the faces I know and love at the studio and being their class mate…not just the girl who signs them in on Saturdays.
I know how healing yoga is, but giving myself the right to enjoy it every day—to make it that much a priority is an ongoing balancing act that demands I push against the other areas of my life that tug on my shirtsleeves incessantly. To build up my practice to prepare for teacher training will require that I sacrifice other interests, but I know when I do, my body, mind and spirit will be at peace with one another.
By Katie Muat,
Karma Club Member and Cosmic Blog Editor-in-Chief
On Wednesdays at The Dog we have a yoga class for little kids, and then a Tween class for the bigger kids. Normally, my Kieran and Lisa’s son (BFF of frantic proportions) take the little kids class and goof off and derail the little ones, then retreat into the babysitting room to engage in the plug-in-drug of choice: their DS’s.
Lisa and I teamed up and played bad cop, telling the boys they weren’t allowed to play DS and that they needed to be in the big kids class. It was awesome! My little kids class was SO much better behaved. There was even a little two year old in there who was SO good. In the Tween class, the two boys hung tough flinging their bodies awkwardly in space, landing with a bump and grunting a lot. They put in so much effort and didn’t know when to stop so I’m afriad they’ll hurt themselves! They were pretty good and matured more as the class went on. All of the kids laid down for a full 5 minute savasana and took it very seriously. I consider that a success. Seriously, 8 kids resting peacefully of their own free will and choice for 5 minutes?
During class the boys were complaining that it “hurt”. I was trying to explain that stretching is supposed to create sensation and that it’s not all a bad thing. Kieran said, “Yea! My PE teacher at school said when you want to stop, that’s your brain telling you to stop. Your body wants to keep moving.”
Go public school!
Pigeon- Deeply opening of the hips and heart; challenged and supported; energized and relaxed; accepting of the sensation of the moment and aware it will change.
YogiJamie
